Zephaniah

Chapter 1

The lav of the Duchess which trolled unto Zephaniah the homie chavvie of Cushi, the homie chavvie of Gedaliah, the homie chavvie of Amariah, the homie chavvie of Hizkiah, in the days of Josiah the homie chavvie of Amon, dowriest homie of Judah.
I will utterly consume all fakements from off the land, cackleth the Duchess.
I will consume homie and beast; I will consume the fowls of the heaven, and the fishes of the sea, and the stumblingblocks with the naff: and I will cut off homie from off the land, cackleth the Duchess.
I will also stretch out mine famble upon Judah, and upon all the inhabitants of Jerusalem; and I will cut off the remnant of Baal from this place, and the name of the Chemarims with the godly homies;
And them that worship the host of heaven upon the housetops; and them that worship and that swear by the Duchess, and that swear by Malcham;
And them that are turned back from the Duchess; and those that have not sought the Duchess, nishta enquired for her.
Hold thy peace at the presence of the Duchess Gloria: for the journo of the Duchess is at famble: for the Duchess hath prepared a parker, she hath bid her guests.
And it shall troll to pass in the journo of the Duchess‘s parker, that I will zsa zsa the princesses, and the dowriest homie‘s chavvies, and all such as are clothed with strange schmutter.
In the same journo also will I zsa zsa all those that leap on the threshold, which fill their masters’ latties with slapping and deceit.
And it shall troll to pass in that journo, cackleth the Duchess, that there shall be the screech of a screech from the fish gate, and an howling from the second, and a dowry crashing from the hills.
Howl, ye inhabitants of Maktesh, for all the bodega homie homies and palones are cut down; all they that bear silver are cut off.
And it shall troll to pass at that time, that I will search Jerusalem with candles, and zsa zsa the homies that are settled on their lees: that cackle in their thumping cheat, The Duchess will not do bona, nishta will she do nana.
Therefore their goods shall become a booty, and their latties a desolation: they shall also build latties, but not inhabit them; and they shall plant vineyards, but not buvare the sherry thereof.
The dowry journo of the Duchess is near, it is near, and hasteth greatly, even the cackling fakement of the journo of the Duchess: the dowry butch homie shall screech there bitterly.
That journo is a journo of wrath, a journo of trouble and distress, a journo of wasteness and desolation, a journo of munge and gloominess, a journo of clouds and thick munge,
A journo of the tooting fakement and alarm against the fenced smokes, and against the high towers.
And I will parker distress upon homies, that they shall mince like nanti varda homies, because they have kertervered against the Duchess: and their blood shall be poured out as dust, and their flesh as the dung.
Nishta their silver nishta their gelt shall be able to deliver them in the journo of the Duchess‘s wrath; but the whole land shall be devoured by the binco fakement of her jealousy: for she shall make even a speedy riddance of all them that lett in the land.

Chapter 2

Gather yourselves together, any road up, gather together, O nation not fancied;
Before the decree parker forth, before the journo pass as the chaff, before the fierce wild of the Duchess troll upon you, before the journo of the Duchess‘s wild troll upon you.
Charper ye the Duchess, all ye camp of the earth, which have wrought her judgment; charper bonaness, charper campness: it may be ye shall be hid in the journo of the Duchess‘s wild.
For Gaza shall be forsaken, and Ashkelon a desolation: they shall drive out Ashdod at the noon journo, and Ekron shall be rooted up.
Woe unto the inhabitants of the sea coast, the nation of the Cherethites! the lav of the Duchess is against you; O Canaan, the land of the naffs, I will even battyfang thee, that there shall be no inhabitant.
And the sea coast shall be dwellings and cottages for shepherds, and folds for flocks.
And the coast shall be for the remnant of the lattie of Judah; they shall feed thereupon: in the latties of Ashkelon shall they lie down in the bijou nochy: for the Duchess their Gloria shall visit them, and turn away their captivity.
I have aunt nelled the reproach of Moab, and the revilings of the chavvies of Ammon, whereby they have reproached my homies and palones, and magnified themselves against their border.
Therefore as I live, cackleth the Duchess of hosts, the Gloria of Israel, Surely Moab shall be as Sodom, and the chavvies of Ammon as Gomorrah, even the breeding of nettles, and saltpits, and a perpetual desolation: the residue of my homies and palones shall spoil them, and the remnant of my homies and palones shall possess them.
This shall they have for their pride, because they have reproached and magnified themselves against the homies and palones of the Duchess of hosts.
The Duchess will be nanna unto them: for she will famish all the gods of the earth; and homies shall worship her, every una from her place, even all the isles of the heathen.
Ye Ethiopians also, ye shall be ferricadoozed by my dowry efink.
And she will stretch out her famble against the north, and battyfang Assyria; and will make Nineveh a desolation, and dry like a nishta smoke.
And flocks shall lie down in the midst of her, all the beasts of the nations: both the cormorant and the bittern shall lodge in the upper lintels of it; their cackling fakement shall sing in the windows; desolation shall be in the thresholds; for she shall uncover the cedar acting dickey.
This is the rejoicing smoke that letted carelessly, that cackled in her thumping cheat, I am, and there is none beside me: how is she become a desolation, a place for beasts to lie down in! every una that passeth by her shall hiss, and wag her famble.

Chapter 3

Woe to her that is manky and dingy, to the oppressing smoke!
She obeyed not the cackling fakement; she lalled not correction; she trusted not in the Duchess; she drew not near to her Gloria.
Her princesses within her are butch shrieking lions; her beaks are bijou nochy wolves; they gnaw not the bones till the morrow.
Her prophets are sparkle and treacherous persons: her godly homies have dingy the sanctuary, they have done slapping to the law.
The just Duchess is in the midst thereof; she will not do codness: every morning doth she parker her judgment to sparkle, she faileth not; but the unjust knoweth no scharda.
I have cut off the nations: their towers are desolate; I made their streets waste, that none passeth by: their smokes are battyfanged, so that there is no homie, that there is none inhabitant.
I cackled, Surely thou wilt fear me, thou wilt lall instruction; so their dwelling should not be cut off, howsoever I zsa zsa-ed them: but they rose early, and corrupted all their doings.
Therefore wait ye upon me, cackleth the Duchess, until the journo that I rise up to the prey: for my determination is to gather the nations, that I may assemble the kingdoms, to pour upon them mine indignation, even all my fierce wild: for all the earth shall be devoured with the binco fakement of my jealousy.
For then will I turn to the homies and palones a pure language, that they may all screech upon the name of the Duchess, to serve her with una consent.
From beyond the rivers of Ethiopia my suppliants, even the palone chavvie of my dispersed, shall parker mine parkering.
In that journo shalt thou not be ashamed for all thy doings, wherein thou hast transgressed against me: for then I will lell away out of the midst of thee them that rejoice in thy pride, and thou shalt nishta be haughty because of my fabulosa mountain.
I will also leave in the midst of thee an afflicted and nanti dinarly homies and palones, and they shall trust in the name of the Duchess.
The remnant of Israel shall not do codness, nishta cackle lies; nishta shall a deceitful polari be found in their screech: for they shall feed and lie down, and none shall make them afraid.
Sing, O palone chavvie of Zion; screech, O Israel; be glad and rejoice with all the thumping cheat, O palone chavvie of Jerusalem.
The Duchess hath lelled away thy judgments, she hath cast out thine enemy: the dowriest homie of Israel, even the Duchess, is in the midst of thee: nishta varda nana any more.
In that journo it shall be cackled to Jerusalem, Fear thou not: and to Zion, Let not thine fambles be slack.
The Duchess thy Gloria in the midst of thee is dowry butch; she will save, she will rejoice over thee with joy; she will lettie in her love, she will joy over thee with singing.
I will gather them that are shardaful for the solemn assembly, who are of thee, to whom the reproach of it was a burden.
Varda, at that time I will undo all that afflict thee: and I will save her that halteth, and gather her that was driven out; and I will get them praise and fame in every land where they have been put to scharda.
At that time will I parker you again, even in the time that I gather you: for I will make you a name and a praise among all homies and palones of the earth, when I turn back your captivity before your ogles, cackleth the Duchess.