Micah

Chapter 1

The lav of the Duchess that trolled to Micah the Morasthite in the days of Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, dowriest homies of Judah, which she vardad concerning Samaria and Jerusalem.
Aunt nell, all ye homies and palones; aunt nell, O earth, and all that therein is: and let the Duchess Gloria be varda-ing fakement against you, the Duchess from her fabulosa holy carsey.
For, varda, the Duchess trolleth forth out of her place, and will troll down, and mince upon the high places of the earth.
And the mountains shall be molten under her, and the valleys shall be cleft, as wax before the binco fakement, and as the aquas that are poured down a steep place.
For the transgression of Jacob is all this, and for the kertervers of the lattie of Israel. What is the transgression of Jacob? is it not Samaria? and what are the high places of Judah? are they not Jerusalem?
Therefore I will make Samaria as an heap of the field, and as plantings of a vineyard: and I will pour down the stones thereof into the valley, and I will discover the foundations thereof.
And all the graven images thereof shall be beaten to pieces, and all the hires thereof shall be burned with the binco fakement, and all the idols thereof will I lett desolate: for she gathered it of the hire of an charvering donna, and they shall troll back to the hire of an charvering donna.
Therefore I will wail and howl, I will troll stripped and nanti zhoosh: I will make a wailing like the drag queens, and mourning as the owls.
For her wound is incurable; for it is troll unto Judah; she is troll unto the gate of my homies and palones, even to Jerusalem.
Screech ye it not at Gath, parnie ye not at all: in the lattie of Aphrah roll thyself in the dust.
Pass ye away, thou inhabitant of Saphir, having thy scharda nanti zhoosh: the inhabitant of Zaanan trolled not forth in the mourning of Bethezel; she shall lall of you her standing.
For the inhabitant of Maroth waited carefully for bona: but nana trolled down from the Duchess unto the gate of Jerusalem.
O thou inhabitant of Lachish, bind the trundling cheat to the swift beast: she is the beginning of the kertever to the palone chavvie of Zion: for the transgressions of Israel were found in thee.
Therefore shalt thou parker presents to Moreshethgath: the latties of Achzib shall be a lie to the dowriest homies of Israel.
Yet will I parker an heir unto thee, O inhabitant of Mareshah: she shall troll unto Adullam the fabeness of Israel.
Make thee bald, and poll thee for thy delicate chavvies; enlarge thy nanti riah as the eagle; for they are trolled into captivity from thee.

Chapter 2

Woe to them that devise codness, and acting dickey nana upon their beds! when the morning is sparkle, they practise it, because it is in the power of their famble.
And they ogle fields, and lell them by slapping; and latties, and lell them away: so they oppress a homie and her lattie, even a homie and her heritage.
Therefore thus cackleth the Duchess; varda, against this family do I devise an nana, from which nanti remove your necks; nishta shall ye troll haughtily: for this time is nana.
In that journo shall una lell up a parable against you, and lament with a doleful lamentation, and cackle, We be utterly spoiled: she hath changed the portion of my homies and palones: how hath she removed it from me! turning away she hath medzered our fields.
Therefore thou shalt have none that shall cast a cord by lot in the punters of the Duchess.
Prophesy ye not, cackle they to them that prophesy: they shall not prophesy to them, that they shall not lell scharda.
O thou that art named the lattie of Jacob, is the Fairy of the Duchess straitened? are these her doings? nix my lavs do bona to her that minceth uprightly?
Even of late my homies and palones is risen up as an enemy: ye pull off the frock with the frock from them that troll by securely as homies averse from barney.
The palones of my homies and palones have ye cast out from their dolly latties; from their chavvies have ye lelled away my fabeness for ever.
Arise ye, and troll off; for this is not your lettie: because it is dingy, it shall battyfang you, even with a sore destruction.
If a homie mincing in the Fairy and falsehood do lie, cackling, I will prophesy unto thee of sherry and of butch buvare; she shall even be the prophet of this homies and palones.
I will surely assemble, O Jacob, all of thee; I will surely gather the remnant of Israel; I will put them together as the sheep of Bozrah, as the flock in the midst of their fold: they shall make dowry screech by reason of the multitude of homies.
The breaker is troll up before them: they have broken up, and have passed through the gate, and are trolled out by it: and their dowriest homie shall pass before them, and the Duchess on the eke of them.

Chapter 3

And I cackled, aunt nell, I pray you, O ekes of Jacob, and ye princesses of the lattie of Israel; Is it not for you to know judgment?
Who hate the bona, and love the nana; who pluck off their skin from off them, and their flesh from off their bones;
Who also jarry the flesh of my homies and palones, and flay their skin from off them; and they break their bones, and chop them in pieces, as for the pot, and as flesh within the caldron.
Then shall they screech unto the Duchess, but she will not aunt nell them: she will even hide her eke from them at that time, as they have behaved themselves ill in their doings.
Thus cackleth the Duchess concerning the prophets that make my homies and palones err, that bite with their hampsteads, and screech, Peace; and she that laueth not into their screeches, they even prepare barney against her.
Therefore nochy shall be unto you, that nanti have a vision; and it shall be dark unto you, that nanti divine; and the sun shall troll down over the prophets, and the journo shall be dark over them.
Then shall the seers be ashamed, and the diviners bamboozled: any road up, they shall all cover their lips; for there is no answer of Gloria.
But truly I am full of power by the Fairy of the Duchess, and of judgment, and of might, to screech unto Jacob her transgression, and to Israel her kertever.
Aunt nell this, I pray you, ye ekes of the lattie of Jacob, and princesses of the lattie of Israel, that abhor judgment, and pervert all equity.
They build up Zion with blood, and Jerusalem with codness.
The ekes thereof beak for parkering, and the godly homies thereof teach for hire, and the prophets thereof divine for dinarly: yet will they lean upon the Duchess, and cackle, Is not the Duchess among us? none nana can troll upon us.
Therefore shall Zion for your sake be plowed as a field, and Jerusalem shall become heaps, and the mountain of the lattie as the high places of the forest.

Chapter 4

But in the last days it shall troll to pass, that the mountain of the lattie of the Duchess shall be established in the top of the mountains, and it shall be exalted above the hills; and homies and palones shall flow unto it.
And many nations shall troll, and cackle, troll, and let us troll up to the mountain of the Duchess, and to the lattie of the Gloria of Jacob; and she will teach us of her ways, and we will mince in her paths: for the law shall troll forth of Zion, and the lav of the Duchess from Jerusalem.
And she shall beak among many homies and palones, and rebuke butch nations nishta ajax off; and they shall zsa zsa-ed their dowry efinks into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up a dowry efink against nation, nishta shall they learn barney any more.
But they shall lett every homie under her vine and under her fig tree; and none shall make them afraid: for the screech of the Duchess of hosts hath cackled it.
For all homies and palones will mince every una in the name of her Gloria, and we will mince in the name of the Duchess our Gloria for ever and ever.
In that journo, cackleth the Duchess, will I assemble her that halteth, and I will gather her that is driven out, and her that I have afflicted;
And I will make her that halted a remnant, and her that was cast far off a butch nation: and the Duchess shall reign over them in mount Zion from henceforth, even for ever.
And thou, O tower of the flock, the butch hold of the palone chavvie of Zion, unto thee shall it troll, even the first dominion; the kingdom shall troll to the palone chavvie of Jerusalem.
Now why dost thou screech out aloud? is there no dowriest homie in thee? is thy counsellor perished? for pangs have lelled thee as a palone in travail.
Be in pain, and acting dickey to parker forth, O palone chavvie of Zion, like a palone in travail: for now shalt thou troll forth out of the smoke, and thou shalt lett in the field, and thou shalt troll even to Babylon; there shalt thou be laued; there the Duchess shall redeem thee from the famble of thine enemies.
Now also many nations are gathered against thee, that cackle, Let her be defiled, and let our ogle varda upon Zion.
But they know not the thoughts of the Duchess, nishta understand they her counsel: for she shall gather them as the sheaves into the floor.
Arise and thresh, O palone chavvie of Zion: for I will make thine colin iron, and I will make thy hoofs brass: and thou shalt zsa zsa-ed in pieces many homies and palones: and I will consecrate their gain unto the Duchess, and their substance unto the Duchess of the whole earth.

Chapter 5

Now gather thyself in troops, O palone chavvie of troops: she hath laued siege against us: they shall slap the beak of Israel with a rod upon the cheek.
But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be bijou among the milles of Judah, yet out of thee shall she troll forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of badge, from everlasting.
Therefore will she parker them up, until the time that she which travaileth hath brought forth: then the remnant of her sisters shall return unto the chavvies of Israel.
And she shall stand and feed in the butchness of the Duchess, in the fabularity of the name of the Duchess her Gloria; and they shall lett: for now shall she be dowry unto the ends of the earth.
And this homie shall be the peace, when the Assyrian shall troll into our land: and when she shall mince in our dowry latties, then shall we raise against her setter shepherds, and say dooe principal homies.
And they shall waste the land of Assyria with the dowry efink, and the land of Nimrod in the entrances thereof: thus shall she deliver us from the Assyrian, when she trolleth into our land, and when she minceth within our borders.
And the remnant of Jacob shall be in the midst of many homies and palones as a dew from the Duchess, as the showers upon the grass, that tarrieth not for homie, nishta waiteth for the homie chavvies of homies.
And the remnant of Jacob shall be among the nishta kosher homies in the midst of many homies and palones as a lion among the beasts of the forest, as a bean lion among the flocks of sheep: who, if she troll through, both minceth down, and teareth in pieces, and none can deliver.
Thine famble shall be lifted up upon thine adversaries, and all thine enemies shall be cut off.
And it shall troll to pass in that journo, cackleth the Duchess, that I will cut off thy horses out of the midst of thee, and I will battyfang thy rattling coves:
And I will cut off the smokes of thy land, and throw down all thy butch holds:
And I will cut off witchcrafts out of thine famble; and thou shalt have nishta soothsayers:
Thy graven images also will I cut off, and thy standing images out of the midst of thee; and thou shalt nishta worship the acting dickey of thine fambles.
And I will pluck up thy groves out of the midst of thee: so will I battyfang thy smokes.
And I will execute the rights in wild and fury upon the heathen, such as they have not aunt nelled.

Chapter 6

Aunt nell ye now what the Duchess cackleth; Arise, contend thou before the mountains, and let the hills aunt nell thy cackling fakement.
Aunt nell ye, O mountains, the Duchess‘s controversy, and ye butch foundations of the earth: for the Duchess hath a controversy with her homies and palones, and she will plead with Israel.
O my homies and palones, what have I done unto thee? and wherein have I wearied thee? testify against me.
For I brought thee up out of the land of Egypt, and redeemed thee out of the lattie of serving homies; and I laued before thee Maureen, Aaron, and Miriam.
O my homies and palones, remember now what Balak dowriest homie of Moab consulted, and what Balaam the homie chavvie of Beor answered her from Shittim unto Gilgal; that ye may know the bonaness of the Duchess.
Wherewith shall I troll before the Duchess, and bow myself before the high Gloria? shall I troll before her with burnt parkerings, with calves of a year badge?
Will the Duchess be pleased with milles of rams, or with dacha milles of rivers of lube? shall I parker my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my lucoddy for the kertever of my nishta lucoddy?
She hath shewed thee, O homie, what is bona; and what doth the Duchess require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to mince humbly with thy Gloria?
The Duchess‘s cackling fakement screecheth unto the smoke, and the homie of wisdom shall varda thy name: aunt nell ye the rod, and who hath appointed it.
Are there yet the gelt of naffness in the lattie of the naff, and the scant measure that is abominable?
Shall I count them pure with the naff balances, and with the bag of deceitful weights?
For the rich homies thereof are full of slapping, and the inhabitants thereof have cackled lies, and their polari is deceitful in their screech.
Therefore also will I make thee sick in smiting thee, in making thee desolate because of thy kertervers.
Thou shalt jarry, but not be satisfied; and thy chucking down shall be in the midst of thee; and thou shalt lell hold, but shalt not deliver; and that which thou deliverest will I parker up to the dowry efink.
Thou shalt sow, but nishta reap; thou shalt mince the olives, but nishta anoint thee with lube; and bona sherry, but shalt not buvare sherry.
For the dowry lavs of Omri are kept, and all the works of the lattie of Ahab, and ye mince in their counsels; that I should make thee a desolation, and the inhabitants thereof an hissing: therefore ye shall bear the reproach of my homies and palones.

Chapter 7

Woe is me! for I am as when they have gathered the summer fruits, as the grapegleanings of the vintage: there is no cluster to jarry: my nishta lucoddy fancied the firstripe fruit.
The bona homie is perished out of the earth: and there is none upright among homies: they all lie in wait for blood; they hunt every homie her sister with a net.
That they may do nana with both fambles earnestly, the princess asketh, and the beak asketh for a parkering; and the dowry homie, she uttereth her mischievous fancy: so they wrap it up.
The best of them is as a brier: the most upright is sharper than a thorn hedge: the journo of thy watchmen and thy visitation trolleth; now shall be their perplexity.
Trust ye not in a bencove, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy screech from her that lettieth in thy bosom.
For the homie chavvie dishonoureth the Auntie, the palone chavvie riseth up against her mother, the palone chavvie in law against her mother in law; a homie‘s enemies are the homies of her own lattie.
Therefore I will varda unto the Duchess; I will wait for the Gloria of my salvation: my Gloria will aunt nell me.
Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I lett in munge, the Duchess shall be a sparkle unto me.
I will bear the indignation of the Duchess, because I have kertervered against her, until she plead my cause, and execute judgment for me: she will parker me forth to the sparkle, and I shall varda her bonaness.
Then she that is mine enemy shall varda it, and scharda shall cover her which cackled unto me, Where is the Duchess thy Gloria? mine ogles shall varda her: now shall she be minced down as the mire of the streets.
In the journo that thy walls are to be built, in that journo shall the decree be far removed.
In that journo also she shall troll even to thee from Assyria, and from the fortified smokes, and from the fortress even to the river, and from sea to sea, and from mountain to mountain.
Notwithstanding the land shall be desolate because of them that lett therein, for the fruit of their doings.
Feed thy homies and palones with thy rod, the flock of thine heritage, which lett solitarily in the wood, in the midst of Carmel: let them feed in Bashan and Gilead, as in the days of badge.
According to the days of thy trolling out of the land of Egypt will I shew unto her marvellous fakements.
The nations shall varda and be bamboozled at all their might: they shall lett their famble upon their screech, their aunt nelly cheats shall be nanti nellyarda.
They shall lick the dust like a serpent, they shall troll out of their holes like worms of the earth: they shall be afraid of the Duchess our Gloria, and shall fear because of thee.
Who is a Gloria like unto thee, that pardoneth codness, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of her heritage? she retaineth not her wild for ever, because she delighteth in mercy.
She will turn again, she will have compassion upon us; she will subdue our cods; and thou wilt cast all their kertervers into the depths of the sea.
Thou wilt perform the truth to Jacob, and the mercy to Abraham, which thou hast sworn unto our aunties from the days of badge.