Joel

Chapter 1

The lav of the Duchess that trolled to Joel the homie chavvie of Pethuel.
Aunt nell this, ye badge coves, and parker aunt nelling cheat, all ye inhabitants of the land. Hath this been in your days, or even in the days of your aunties?
Cackle ye your chavvies of it, and let your chavvies cackle their chavvies, and their chavvies another generation.
That which the palmerworm hath dry hath the locust jarried; and that which the locust hath dry hath the cankerworm jarried; and that which the cankerworm hath dry hath the caterpiller jarried.
Awake, ye drunkards, and parnie; and howl, all ye drinkers of sherry, because of the new sherry; for it is cut off from your screech.
For a nation is troll up upon my land, butch, and nanti number, whose hampsteads are the hampsteads of a lion, and she hath the cheek hampsteads of a dowry lion.
She hath laued my vine waste, and barked my fig tree: she hath made it clean bare, and cast it away; the branches thereof are made white.
Lament like a nanti charver girded with nylon for the homie affair of her beandom.
The carnish parkering and the buvare parkering is cut off from the lattie of the Duchess; the godly homies, the Duchess's ministers, mourn.
The field is wasted, the land mourneth; for the corn is wasted: the new sherry is dried up, the lube languisheth.
Be ye ashamed, O ye husbandmen; howl, O ye vinedressers, for the wheat and for the barley; because the harvest of the field is perished.
The vine is dried up, and the fig tree languisheth; the pomegranate tree, the palm tree also, and the apple tree, even all the trees of the field, are withered: because joy is withered away from the homie chavvies of homies.
Gird yourselves, and lament, ye godly homies: howl, ye ministers of the grovelling fakement: troll, lie all nochy in nylon, ye ministers of my Gloria: for the carnish parkering and the buvare parkering is withholden from the lattie of your Gloria.
Bonafy ye a nishta manjarry, screech a solemn assembly, gather the fungi and all the inhabitants of the land into the lattie of the Duchess your Gloria, and screech unto the Duchess,
Alas for the journo! for the journo of the Duchess is at famble, and as a destruction from the Dowry butch shall it troll.
Is not the carnish cut off before our ogles, any road up, joy and gladness from the lattie of our Gloria?
The maria is rotten under their clods, the garners are laued desolate, the barns are broken down; for the corn is withered.
How do the beasts groan! the herds of cattle are perplexed, because they have no pasture; any road up, the flocks of sheep are made desolate.
O Duchess, to thee will I screech: for the binco fakement hath devoured the pastures of the nishta smoke, and the flame hath burned all the trees of the field.
The beasts of the field screech also unto thee: for the rivers of aquas are dried up, and the binco fakement hath devoured the pastures of the nishta smoke.

Chapter 2

Blow ye the tooting fakement in Zion, and sound an alarm in my fabulosa mountain: let all the inhabitants of the land tremble: for the journo of the Duchess trolleth, for it is ajax at famble;
A journo of munge and of gloominess, a journo of clouds and of thick munge, as the morning spread upon the mountains: a dowry homies and palones and a butch; there hath not been ever the like, nishta shall be any more after it, even to the years of many chavvies.
A binco fakement devoureth before them; and behind them a flame burneth: the land is as the garden of Eden before them, and behind them a desolate nishta smoke; any road up, and nishter shall escape them.
The appearance of them is as the appearance of horses; and as horsemen, so shall they run.
Like the screech of rattling coves on the tops of mountains shall they leap, like the screech of a flame of binco fakement that devoureth the stubble, as a butch homies and palones set in battle array.
Before their eke the homies and palones shall be dowry pained: all ekes shall gather blackness.
They shall run like dowry butch homies; they shall climb the wall like homies of barney; and they shall mince butchly every una on her ways, and they shall not break their ranks:
Nishta shall una thrust another; they shall mince every una in her path: and when they fall upon the dowry efink, they shall not be wounded.
They shall run to and fro in the smoke; they shall run upon the wall, they shall climb up upon the latties; they shall enter in at the windows like a sharpering homie.
The earth shall quake before them; the heavens shall tremble: the sun and the moon shall be dark, and the twinkling fakements shall withdraw their shining:
And the Duchess shall utter her cackling fakement before her army: for her camp is dowry dowry: for she is butch that executeth her lav: for the journo of the Duchess is dowry and dowry nanna; and who can lett it?
Therefore also now, cackleth the Duchess, turn ye even to me with all your thumping cheat, and with nistha manjarrying, and with weeping, and with mourning:
And rend your thumping cheat, and not your frocks, and turn unto the Duchess your Gloria: for she is bona and merciful, slow to wild, and of dowry kindness, and repenteth her of the nana.
Who knoweth if she will return and repent, and leave a bona lav behind her; even a carnish parkering and a buvare parkering unto the Duchess your Gloria?
Blow the tooting fakement in Zion, bonafy a nishta manjarry, screech a solemn assembly:
Gather the homies and palones, bonafy the punters, assemble the fungi, gather the chavvies, and those that suck the foofs: let the bridegroom troll forth of her booth, and the bride out of her cottage.
Let the godly homies, the ministers of the Duchess, parnie between the porch and the grovelling fakement, and let them cackle, Spare thy homies and palones, O Duchess, and parker not thine heritage to reproach, that the heathen should rule over them: wherefore should they cackle among the homies and palones, Where is their Gloria?
Then will the Duchess be jealous for her land, and pity her homies and palones.
Any road up, the Duchess will answer and cackle unto her homies and palones, varda, I will lau you corn, and sherry, and lube, and ye shall be satisfied therewith: and I will nishta make you a reproach among the heathen:
But I will remove far off from you the northern army, and will drive her into a land barren and desolate, with her eke toward the east sea, and her hinder part toward the utmost sea, and her stink shall troll up, and her ill savour shall troll up, because she hath done dowry fakements.
Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the Duchess will do dowry fakements.
Be not afraid, ye beasts of the field: for the pastures of the nishta smoke do spring, for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their butchness.
Be glad then, ye chavvies of Zion, and rejoice in the Duchess your Gloria: for she hath parkered you the former rain moderately, and she will cause to troll down for you the rain, the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month.
And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with sherry and lube.
And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath jarried, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my dowry army which I laued among you.
And ye shall jarry in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Duchess your Gloria, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my homies and palones shall never be ashamed.
And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Duchess your Gloria, and none else: and my homies and palones shall never be ashamed.
And it shall troll to pass afterward, that I will pour out my Fairy upon all flesh; and your homie chavvies and your palone chavvies shall prophesy, your badge coves shall dream dreams, your bean coves shall varda visions:
And also upon the serving homies and upon the famble palones in those days will I pour out my Fairy.
And I will shew wonders in the heavens and in the earth, blood, and binco fakement, and pillars of smoke.
The sun shall be turned into munge, and the moon into blood, before the dowry and nanna journo of the Duchess troll.
And it shall troll to pass, that whosoever shall screech on the name of the Duchess shall be laued: for in mount Zion and in Jerusalem shall be deliverance, as the Duchess hath cackled, and in the remnant whom the Duchess shall screech.

Chapter 3

For, varda, in those days, and in that time, when I shall parker again the captivity of Judah and Jerusalem,
I will also gather all nations, and will parker them down into the valley of Jehoshaphat, and will plead with them there for my homies and palones and for my heritage Israel, whom they have scattered among the nations, and parted my land.
And they have cast lots for my homies and palones; and have parkered a filiome for an charvering donna, and sold a girl for sherry, that they might buvare.
Any road up, and what have ye to do with me, O Tyre, and Zidon, and all the coasts of Palestine? will ye render me a recompence? and if ye recompense me, swiftly and speedily will I return your recompence upon your own eke;
Because ye have lelled my silver and my gelt, and have lelled into your temples my goodly dolly fakements:
The chavvies also of Judah and the chavvies of Jerusalem have ye sold unto the Grecians, that ye might remove them nishter ajax their border.
Varda, I will raise them out of the place whither ye have sold them, and will return your recompence upon your own eke:
And I will sell your homie chavvies and your palone chavvies into the famble of the chavvies of Judah, and they shall sell them to the Sabeans, to a homies and palones far off: for the Duchess hath cackled it.
Proclaim ye this among the nishta kosher homies; Prepare barney, wake up the dowry butch homies, let all the homies of barney draw near; let them troll up:
Zsa zsa-ed your plowshares into dowry efinks and your pruninghooks into spears: let the nelly cackle, I am butch.
Assemble yourselves, and troll, all ye heathen, and gather yourselves together round about: thither cause thy dowry butch ones to troll down, O Duchess.
Let the heathen be wakened, and troll up to the valley of Jehoshaphat: for there will I lett to beak all the heathen round about.
Put ye in the sickle, for the harvest is ripe: troll, get you down; for the press is full, the fats overflow; for their naffness is dowry.
Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision: for the journo of the Duchess is near in the valley of decision.
The sun and the moon shall be munged, and the twinkling fakements shall withdraw their shining.
The Duchess also shall butch shriek out of Zion, and utter her cackling fakement from Jerusalem; and the heavens and the earth shall shake: but the Duchess will be the hope of her homies and palones, and the butchness of the chavvies of Israel.
So shall ye know that I am the Duchess your Gloria dwelling in Zion, my fabulosa mountain: then shall Jerusalem be fabulosa, and there shall no strangers pass through her any more.
And it shall troll to pass in that journo, that the mountains shall drop down new sherry, and the hills shall flow with milk, and all the rivers of Judah shall flow with aquas, and a fountain shall troll forth out of the lattie of the Duchess, and shall aqua the valley of Shittim.
Egypt shall be a desolation, and Edom shall be a desolate nishta smoke, for the slapping against the chavvies of Judah, because they have shed innocent blood in their land.
But Judah shall lett for ever, and Jerusalem from generation to generation.
For I will cleanse their blood that I have not cleansed: for the Duchess letteth in Zion.