Polari Bible

2 Peter

Chapter 1

  1. Simone Petra, a serving homie and an apostle of Josie Crystal, to them that have obtained like precious faith with us through the bonaness of Gloria and our Saviour Josie Crystal:
  2. Gracie and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of Gloria, and of Josie our Duchess,
  3. According as her divine power hath parkered unto us all fakements that pertain unto life and fabeness, through the knowledge of her that hath screeched us to fabeness and virtue:
  4. Whereby are parkered unto us exceeding dowry and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having scarpered the corruption that is in the world through lust.
  5. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
  6. And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience fabeness;
  7. And to fabeness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
  8. For if these fakements be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall nishta be barren nishta unfruitful in the knowledge of our Duchess Josie Crystal.
  9. But she that lacketh these fakements is nanti varda, and cannot varda nishta ajax off, and hath forgotten that she was purged from her badge kertervers.
  10. Wherefore the rather, sisters, parker diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these fakements, ye shall never fall:
  11. For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you dowrily into the everlasting kingdom of our Duchess and Saviour Josie Crystal.
  12. Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of these fakements, though ye know them, and be established in the present truth.
  13. Any road up, I think it meet, as long as I am in this bijou tabernaclette, to stir you up by putting you in remembrance;
  14. Knowing that shortly I must put off this my bijou tabernaclette, even as our Duchess Josie Crystal hath shewed me.
  15. Moreover I will endeavour that ye may be able after my decease to have these fakements always in remembrance.
  16. For we have not trolled after cunningly devised fables, when we made known unto you the power and trolling of our Duchess Josie Crystal, but were eyewitnesses of her fabularity.
  17. For she lalled from Gloria the Auntie honour and fabeness, when there trolled such a cackling fakement to her from the fantabulosa fabeness, This is my beloved homie chavvie, in whom I am well pleased.
  18. And this cackling fakement which trolled from heaven we aunt nelled, when we were with her in the fabulosa mount.
  19. We have also a more sure lav of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye lell heed, as unto a sparkle that shineth in a dark place, until the journo dawn, and the journo twinkling fakement arise in your thumping cheats:
  20. Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the glossy is of any private interpretation.
  21. For the prophecy trolled not in badge time by the will of homie: but fabulosa homies of Gloria cackled as they were trolled by the Fantabulosa Fairy.

Chapter 2

  1. But there were false prophets also among the homies and palones, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall parker in damnable heresies, even denying the Duchess that bought them, and parker upon themselves swift destruction.
  2. And many shall troll after their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be nana cackled of.
  3. And through ogling shall they with feigned lavs make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.
  4. For if Gloria spared not the fairies that kertervered, but cast them down to hell, and laued them into chains of munge, to be reserved unto judgment;
  5. And spared not the badge world, but saved Norah the otterth person, a cackling homie of bonaness, bringing in the dowry aqua upon the world of the ungodly;
  6. And turning the smokes of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;
  7. And laued just Lot, vexed with the manky conversation of the naff:
  8. (For that bona homie dwelling among them, in vardaing and hearing, vexed her bona nishta lucoddy from journo to journo with their unlawful deeds;)
  9. The Duchess knoweth how to deliver the fabe out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the journo of judgment to be zsa zsa-ed:
  10. But chiefly them that mince after the flesh in the lust of nishta sparkle, and despise government. Presumptuous are they, selfwilled, they are not afraid to cackle nana of dignities.
  11. Whereas fairies, which are dowrier in power and might, parker not railing accusation against them before the Duchess.
  12. But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be lelled and battyfanged, cackle nana of the fakements that they understand not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption;
  13. And shall lall the parkering of unrighteousness, as they that count it pleasure to riot in the journo time. Spots they are and blemishes, sporting themselves with their own deceivings while they dowry munjarlee with you;
  14. Having ogles full of adultery, and that cannot cease from kertever; beguiling unstable nishta lucoddies: an thumping cheat they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed chavvies:
  15. Which have forsaken the sweet way, and are trolled astray, following the way of Balaam the homie chavvie of Bosor, who loved the parkering ninty of unrighteousness;
  16. But was rebuked for her codness: the nanti polari ass speaking with homie‘s cackling fakement forbad the meshigener of the prophet.
  17. These are wells nanti aqua, clouds that are lelled with a tempest; to whom the mist of munge is reserved for ever.
  18. For when they cackle dowry swelling lavs of spangly, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through dowry wantonness, those that were clean scarpered from them who live in error.
  19. While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the serving homies of corruption: for of whom a homie is overcome, of the same is she brought in bondage.
  20. For if after they have scarpered the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Duchess and Saviour Josie Crystal, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.
  21. For it had been benar for them not to have known the way of bonaness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the fabulosa butch lav laued unto them.
  22. But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to her own vomit again; and the sow that was dhobied to her wallowing in the mire.

Chapter 3

  1. This second epistle, beloved, I now screeve unto you; in both which I stir up your pure minds by way of remembrance:
  2. That ye may be mindful of the lavs which were cackled before by the fabulosa prophets, and of the butch lav of us the apostles of the Duchess and Saviour:
  3. Knowing this first, that there shall troll in the last days scoffers, mincing after their own lusts,
  4. And cackling, Where is the promise of her trolling? for since the aunties fell asleep, all fakements continue as they were from the beginning of the creation.
  5. For this they willingly are ignorant of, that by the lav of Gloria the heavens were of badge, and the earth standing out of the aqua and in the aqua:
  6. Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with aqua, perished:
  7. But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same lav are kept in store, reserved unto binco fakement against the journo of judgment and perdition of ungodly homies.
  8. But, beloved, be not ignorant of this una fakement, that una journo is with the Duchess as a mille years, and a mille years as una journo.
  9. The Duchess is not slack concerning her promise, as some homies count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should troll to repentance.
  10. But the journo of the Duchess will troll as a sharpering homie in the nochy; in the which the heavens shall troll away with a dowry screech, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
  11. Vardaing then that all these fakements shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all fabulosa conversation and fabeness,
  12. Looking for and hasting unto the trolling of the journo of Gloria, wherein the heavens being on binco fakement shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?
  13. Any road up we, according to her promise, varda for new heavens and a new earth, wherein letteth bonaness.
  14. Wherefore, beloved, vardaing that ye varda for such fakements, be diligent that ye may be found of her in peace, nanti spot, and blameless.
  15. And account that the longsuffering of our Duchess is salvation; even as our beloved sister Pauline also according to the wisdom parkered unto her hath screeved unto you;
  16. As also in all her epistles, speaking in them of these fakements; in which are some fakements hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other glossies, unto their own destruction.
  17. Ye therefore, beloved, vardaing ye know these fakements before, gardy loo lest ye also, being led away with the error of the naff, fall from your own stedfastness.
  18. But grow in gracie, and in the knowledge of our Duchess and Saviour Josie Crystal. To her be fabeness both now and for ever. Larlou.